30 March 09 - 01:45THE PAIN OF A SMILE

I can remember laughing, telling jokes, and being the life of the party.  Not anymore....there's really not anything to laugh about.  I spend most of my time crying for absoultley no reason at all.  darkness does that you know.  Oh sure when the phone rings or company comes by I put on my smiley face but soon as the door closes or the phone hangs up, i'm right back where i started (sometimes I don't even answer my phone).  But at that moment i have to realize that this thing can't beat me! i didn't come this far to turn back now....I can't let what hurt me yesterday determine my mood for today.  I have to push on, wipe away the tears and thank God for another day!!!    

I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES AND HIS PRAISES SHALL CONTINUALLY BE IN MY MOUTH.....psalms 34:1

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